Chilling News

     Whelp, nothing like waking up in the morning to a house with no heat. Yeah, I slept like a baby and didn’t notice a thing until I threw the covers off, sneezed, and could see my breath come out of my nose. Of all the things that could go out in the winter it would have to be the furnace. Of course. 

     The first thing I did was Google, “Furnace not working”. Can you guess what the top rated answer was? I bet you can. Make sure it’s on. Thanks. Never would I have thought that I needed to turn on the heat for it to work. I kept reading even though I had just been insulted. Step 2: Make sure the target temperature is higher than the room temperature. Uh huh. Yeah. That’s it. I’ve been trying to cool my house to a hotter temperature. After that I gave up on relying on  Google to have an answer for me so I hopped in the shower which could have fogged up the whole house and now I’m ranting to you fine folks before I have to go to work this morning. 

     Just to let you in on how this is affecting my wife. She’s laying on the couch in a jacket that someone living in an igloo could wear, updating me every 5 mins on the temperature in the house by saying, “Jake, it’s cold”. Great. My profession involves talking to people, asking them what they would like to drink and eat, bringing it to them and then getting paid when they leave. I feel as though she thinks that I should have some innate ability to fix the furnace because I’m a man. Well honey, I tried everything I knew how to do. The only thing I’m good at is serving people. So, unless it gets thirsty or hungry, I think we are in for a cold day. 

Thanks for reading!


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